A couple of weeks ago. i took this pic and forgot to post it.
Sometimes when i am especially craving Master, or just particularly horny in general i will ask M to give me something horrible to do or think about. i don't remember if that was the case with this pic or if he just sent me to do it for his entertainment. Either way this is a picture of me licking the unisex public bathroom floor, because that is the kind of pig Mastered likes. i believe the thought of that day was how worthless and low i am, cleaning the public bathroom floor with my tongue is right at my level.
(i added a new app on my phone that lets me edit photos so i was playing/testing that when i sent this that is why there is writing on it)
adding the following after the initial post:
I think I was reminded of that pic because today is also one
of those days were I am just desperate for Mastered, for abuse, for
degradation. When I get like this I don’t even want sex, except as a torture,
fuck me but don’t let me cum, fuck me all you want in any hole you want JUST DON’T
LET ME HAVE ANY SATISFACTION!!! Diaper day usually keeps me very aroused
because it just starts my day off in a humiliating fashion, almost from the
time I wake up I am diapered. And this morning I realized I will have to go to
the store and buy more which is always hard to get thru-I have gotten used to
many things but I still loathe buying diapers. So of course that makes me hot.
But its more than that, I am just super fucking horny. Mastered sent me to the
bathroom to stand in the corner for 5 minutes today and that made it worse, 5
minutes of uninterrupted thought about him, about what a piece of shit I am. GOD I have literally spent about a half an
hour fantasizing about getting a hold of the boxers, briefs whatever he wore
today when he worked out and sucking them clean with my mouth. Cleaning every
bit of sweat and nastiness with my pig
mouth- seriously, that thought has distracted me from work!! I have thought of
him fucking either of my holes and emptying his balls in me (without me
cumming!!!) and after I stand there and the cum drips out of which ever hole
and onto the floor I get to lick it up!!! This is my mental state today. I want
a whipping so bad that I cry and when I crumple to the ground trying to get
away I want to hear that hard voice tell me to get up, not put a hand on me,
not help me up, not grab me by the hair and pull me up but just make me with
the tone in his voice get myself back up and ask for more. I want him to put me in the tub and piss all
over me, turn out the light and leave me in the filth.
I was hoping that by writing this it would get out of my
system-that does not appear to be happening. lol
I was in this state of mind earlier when I was talking to
Mastered and he said he had to go, so I said that I wish he would stay and talk
to me. Now tonight I will be clothes pinning my mouth shut for 15 minutes for
whining. Even that doesn’t help and now he is calling me a whiny fucking baby
AND THAT IS JUST MAKING THINGS WORSE. I think
I am going to explode from the need for abuse and humiliation. FUCK
(I'm not editing this-so it is total stream of consciousness)
im back and adding more-im just sharing everything im thinking no filter so dont judge:
now i have been thinking of making a lovely dinner, 2 plates on the table everything served and M takes my plate and very deliberaely, as i watch, scrapes every bit into the trash and i have to eat out of the trash like a pig. when done he bends me over the table and fucks me with sauce still smeared across my face, bits of food in my hair, calling me pig with every thrust. after he cums (NO CUMMING FOR ME) i have to clean up from dinner before i get to clean myself up. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, so desperate.