Hello all. i was just going to stop posting here since M and i are not together anymore but something kept nagging me. My focus was always primarily, of course, on him but you all, the readers and the commenters here and on my stuff on SF have played an important role in my development and just in making this journal an enjoyable thing to do. So while i don't owe you an explanation i do owe you my thanks.
It was Ms idea that i start this journal and that is just one of the list of things i am grateful to him for. There are, near as i can tell, about 200 of you that visit every couple of days ( or one guy who comes here A LOT), and those views kept me inspired, motivated to write. Knowing i had an audience that was really interested not just in the pics but the written content made all the difference to me. i have been incredibly fortunate in the quality of readers and commenters that come here, you provided support and encouragement and i am deeply grateful for that.
In a certain way i think you all were helpful to Ms and my dynamic-because you were kind and encouraging Mastereds and my interaction could stay more purely in our roles, you all took care of some of the nurturing that may otherwise have fallen on him.
I don't know if i will start posting again at some point, or what the future holds for M and i but please accept my gratitude for..... well....just showing up and reading, it has meant a great deal to me. Thank you.
Sorry no pics for this post
i was looking back on some old posts and reading some of the fabulous comments you guys leave and there was one post where i had alluded to something that Mastered and i had talked about but i didn't want to share at that point. One commenter was not happy about that and somewhat critical of me. It was a post several months ago and to be honest i cant remember what specific thing that i was referencing- there are one or two things i haven't shared here, more "extreme" things. One is something that is just between Mastered and me and one is something that is probably doomed to stay in the fantasy realm but is fairly extreme to talk about, or to admit a desire for. But i am going to admit to that desire here.
whew this is tough to start writing....
okay, here it goes.....
i mean, i don't think it is that unusual to think about.....
Wow even after all i have shared it is crazy how deep the societal inhibitions run against talking about this openly........
im just going to say it...
i would like to be fucked by a dog. THERE, are you happy?????
The idea of how it would feel to get on hands and knees, face on the floor, back arched, legs spread. Then feel the sniffling of a dog snout on my cunt. The ultimate taboo of that moment when i would know i am really going to be mounted by an dog. The ultimate submission, the literal animal submission. i think that would be the ultimate humiliation, so for me the ultimate achievement. As with much that drives me in these things it is not the sex act itself, it is the debasement of acknowledging my position in life and doing so willingly. It is the idea of looking up from my lowly position as all of this happens and seeing Mastered watching, my Master proud of his creation. The idea of feeling that alien, wrong cock in my hole..the point when i go from someone who has not had a dog cock in her to forever being someone who HAS been fucked by a dog. you cant ever undo that, you cant un-be that person. The idea of a mindless beast fucking me makes me crazy, because what would that make me? I know that there are other positions from which you can take a dog cock and i actually think it is common to have the woman on her back-but that is never the way i imagine myself-that is too "womanish". To me, to achieve what i want, i have to picture my self in that most submissive posture. i guess maybe another way to put it is in one position you are getting fucked by a dog but in another position you are submitting to a dog-guess which one turns me on? :)
Now i acknowledge that for me so far this is strictly fantasy, so my opinion of how i would feel or what it would be like is probably only slightly more informed than a 19 yr old "master". And as i said this is one of those things that will probably stay a fantasy for a couple of reasons. Firstly, i have mentioned before, i have a minor medical condition that almost never comes into play but i have an exceptionally sensitive cervix and get shocky ( vision closing in, ears ringing etc) when my cervix is irritated and from what i have read dog cock is built specifically to get to the cervix so i would be hesitant to try this because of that. Of course there is always the pig hole but that is scary too and the only person i have talked to that i actually believe really has done this had not done anal. Also being a dog person i know that it is not natural behavior for a dog, unless trained to do it, to dominate a human. So its not like you can just borrow your friends dog one night and get it on. So between physical worries, trained dogs, and limited time with Mastered ( who must be there to witness and enjoy my submission or there is no point) it just doesn't seem likely to happen.
Sometimes I like to come full circle in my blog: i started this one talking about a commenter that was irritated i didn't share but there was someone else who said "keep being beautiful and open to us" and rereading THAT comment inspired me to think: what, of the few things i hold back, can i push myself to share? And tho i am pretty sure this will never come to fruition it is something that i have purposefully not mentioned because i was embarrassed. But i will click publish and in a couple of days i will be thinking "really, i was embarrassed to talk about my desire to submit to a dog? thats so silly" OR i will wake up tmro and remove this post, lol
whew this is tough to start writing....
okay, here it goes.....
i mean, i don't think it is that unusual to think about.....
Wow even after all i have shared it is crazy how deep the societal inhibitions run against talking about this openly........
im just going to say it...
i would like to be fucked by a dog. THERE, are you happy?????
The idea of how it would feel to get on hands and knees, face on the floor, back arched, legs spread. Then feel the sniffling of a dog snout on my cunt. The ultimate taboo of that moment when i would know i am really going to be mounted by an dog. The ultimate submission, the literal animal submission. i think that would be the ultimate humiliation, so for me the ultimate achievement. As with much that drives me in these things it is not the sex act itself, it is the debasement of acknowledging my position in life and doing so willingly. It is the idea of looking up from my lowly position as all of this happens and seeing Mastered watching, my Master proud of his creation. The idea of feeling that alien, wrong cock in my hole..the point when i go from someone who has not had a dog cock in her to forever being someone who HAS been fucked by a dog. you cant ever undo that, you cant un-be that person. The idea of a mindless beast fucking me makes me crazy, because what would that make me? I know that there are other positions from which you can take a dog cock and i actually think it is common to have the woman on her back-but that is never the way i imagine myself-that is too "womanish". To me, to achieve what i want, i have to picture my self in that most submissive posture. i guess maybe another way to put it is in one position you are getting fucked by a dog but in another position you are submitting to a dog-guess which one turns me on? :)
Now i acknowledge that for me so far this is strictly fantasy, so my opinion of how i would feel or what it would be like is probably only slightly more informed than a 19 yr old "master". And as i said this is one of those things that will probably stay a fantasy for a couple of reasons. Firstly, i have mentioned before, i have a minor medical condition that almost never comes into play but i have an exceptionally sensitive cervix and get shocky ( vision closing in, ears ringing etc) when my cervix is irritated and from what i have read dog cock is built specifically to get to the cervix so i would be hesitant to try this because of that. Of course there is always the pig hole but that is scary too and the only person i have talked to that i actually believe really has done this had not done anal. Also being a dog person i know that it is not natural behavior for a dog, unless trained to do it, to dominate a human. So its not like you can just borrow your friends dog one night and get it on. So between physical worries, trained dogs, and limited time with Mastered ( who must be there to witness and enjoy my submission or there is no point) it just doesn't seem likely to happen.
Sometimes I like to come full circle in my blog: i started this one talking about a commenter that was irritated i didn't share but there was someone else who said "keep being beautiful and open to us" and rereading THAT comment inspired me to think: what, of the few things i hold back, can i push myself to share? And tho i am pretty sure this will never come to fruition it is something that i have purposefully not mentioned because i was embarrassed. But i will click publish and in a couple of days i will be thinking "really, i was embarrassed to talk about my desire to submit to a dog? thats so silly" OR i will wake up tmro and remove this post, lol
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