The easiest way for me to start is to say what i am not. i am not a little girl, i am not a little (i think that is the right term), i am not a daddys girl. These things hold no appeal for me. i don't want to be coddled, taken care of. i don't want to be sweet and helpless. Now for what i am: a grown ass woman. i've worked hard for that - i take care of myself, i run my own life and i am very proud of that. Additionally i know how to play to my strengths physically. While you will never hear me say i am pretty i will readily characterize my self as sexy - grown woman sexy. Being cute has never been a look i could or would want to pull off. Cute on me just looks ridiculous, probably in large part because that is sooooooo not who i am. So for all of those reasons and more being infantilized is abhorrent to me. Guess who instinctively knows all of that?
On last weeks diaper day (of course), or rather the night before diaper day Mastered sent me to get one of those ring pop things...get it? Kind of like a socially acceptable pacifier right? i was not amused. So now on diaper day i had to suck on my ring pop. i want to be clear: this is straight humiliation, there is no part of me that feels comfortable with this. i am going to date myself here but i am likening this to the scene in the original Fame where coco does a porno and the director is like "aw is the baby going to cry now" making fun of her for being upset about the situation. That is how this makes me feel, since i know he knows i am not a little girl, he is making fun of me. And THAT i am totally down with. That was last week, this week i am now carrying a sparkly princess diaper bag that holds my diapers and wipes for the day, oh and my ring pop. i can not really communicate the feeling i had walking out of the house in the morning in my work clothes, high heels, feeling sexy, ready to kick ass and take names at work but also carrying my sparkly little girl diaper bag. Its all up in my head...my Master makes me wear a diaper, carry little girl accutremont and i have to do it if i want to keep him, and i need him so this is what i do. i sit at work in a wet diaper sucking on a ring pop, for all the world to see..they don't know the significance of any of it but i do. Mind blown. i have to say i was in a frenzy all day the day it happened. By the end of the day i was wanting not just to crawl to Mastered but crawl on my belly to him. To capitulate so totally in an area that offends me to the very core brought me to a level of desire that is hard to explain. Every time i looked down under my desk and saw my bag i got a jolt- this is what Mastered wants, this is what he gets. It stripped a layer off of me, i felt raw and completely open. It was amazing how .....surrendered i felt.
i stopped today and picked up a real pacifier for these pictures, i thought it would make Mastered happy.
It does...because I do know you!!!
ReplyDelete"M"
it constantly how much you do Sir!
DeleteI have absolutely no problems degrading a willing slut, and this is certainly high level of degradation. For some reason, it just isn't My style, but understand that doesn't matter ---only slave Owner's desires matter. I do love the piss play, but not going this far at your place of employment. Sorry. Just My opinion. That said, love the pix of pacifier and childs "sparkly" diaper bag. I wonder how long before you will be expected to take that to the Mall shopping?
ReplyDeleteI found your "assessment" of yourself very interesting....and very honest and I think correct. you may not quite be a Playboy model, but you are definitely one very sexy woman!! And because you are proud and independent woman, it is interesting that you are also a slave....and needing to be degraded. Hey, if Mastered ever needs ideas or help degrading you, give Me a shout out!!
you know what is funny? i generally get about 250 300 visitors a day (a little less as i am rebuilding readership after my break) but the "likes" take a couple of days to accumulate, and even then i usually only get 5 or 6 in the first week. BUT this post got 4 "likes" in the first day. Says something-i have no idea what but something.
DeleteMastered would NEVER make me do something that would truly interfere with my job or cause me to risk my job thru some type of behavior-i mean really who would think anything of someone just sucking on a ring pop? a little nostalgia but that's about it. i can also claim to be carrying the bag as a makeup bag in an ironic fashion since i am so anti-fairytale. so really not risky-its just that i know what it all means. However i commend you for not wanting to interfere with someones job-i once read a blog of a slave that got in trouble because she had to go into work and i actually responded (tho i am not supposed to say anything negative) that he better be prepared to pay her if he expects to come before the job.
this hasn't really come up again so i am not sure we will go further down this road, but it was def interesting as it is pretty hard to humiliate me at this point.
Thank you for you comment Sir