Mastered is going away for a while in a month or so (less i
think). This happened last year as well. When he leaves for these extended
(over a week) periods of time he leaves me with what i have taken to calling a
"guest Master", although i don't think i would be allowed to call
them that-but i am not sure. At any rate this is a person that takes over the
his job in whatever capacity they are able. Check -ins, outfits choice, tasks,
daily maintenance. It is a weird feeling answering to a new person, not so much
the exposure to someone else because, really, what do i have left to be shy
about but adjusting to another tone/voice or set of expectations of behavior.
It seems to be the pattern that a month or so before Mastered leaves he lets me
know who it will be and they integrate into our conversation somewhat.
Last years guest was a person diametrically opposite of Master, a Daddy so to speak. He was actually responsible for the task that resulted in me having golf balls around the house for Mastered to torment me with now. It all went pretty smoothly, i think because he was less severe (but, perhaps, a tad bit more formal), than Mastered so my normal standards of behavior were sufficient. He liked to have me write stories, which was really nice because that was before i had this journal. This was also pre-pig but i think that would not have been his style so i am not actually sure he would have wanted the job now. There was absolutely nothing wrong with him and in fact i think he would be awesome for someone looking specifically for a Daddy but i don't think the level of degradation i have sunk to would be his cup of tea. But even though my behavior-i think- was fine i still had to figure out subtle likes and dislikes and alter what i talked about or what i emphasized and how i did that. That is one of the interesting things about the "guest".
i am sure that every D/s have their own shorthand or standards-you get to know what your Master cares about and what is behaviors or words are superfluous. i am fortunate in that, although Mastered is not a big talker and i am certainly more wordy, we are both pretty direct, non-flowery speakers. Also as i mentioned to someone recently-declarations, begging and certainly whining doesn't really have any effect on him so i don't bother with much of that- he really just wants to hear "Yes Sir" and know that i am doing what he says. (Everything i just wrote was a massive generalization so, of course, there are exceptions to it.) Ironically the way that i some times, feebly, try to register my unhappiness is by ONLY saying "Yes Sir", which probably just makes him happier-lol. But my point is, there is not much room for misunderstanding partially because we communicate similarly.
But that "shorthand" or those habits can be interpreted entirely differently by a new person-the "do this" or "show this" part of interacting with someone new is easy, those are clear directives. But it is adapting to the nuances of their desires and communicating successfully that can be jarring. Which is my way of segueing into discussing this years "guest", who has been a frequent commenter on my media. i have always enjoyed, from his first comment on pictures way back, how he addressed me or rather didn't address ME but merely commented upon the meat he was looking at. i felt that he was very similar to Mastered. But as time passed i feel like i got to know him thru his comments and we had a pretty good back and forth. But..and here is the thing...he was "just" a commenter, as long as i was polite Mastered didn't really care what i said and my commenter didn't have any say in anything that i did so i teased, i was casual. But now he has a say and it is funny how quickly he took to correcting my speech. i found myself kind of taken aback by the fact that my behavior would have to change (i know DUH) and a little surprised by the aggressiveness with which he took to his new role. i don't know why i should be surprised this is what i saw in him initially that made him one of my favs. But it was a good mind check for me because at first i was offended by his presumption-it was a knee jerk reaction-because i realize now that i had felt in control of previous interactions simply, i guess, by virtue of the fact that i could respond how ever i liked-blandly if i wasn't in the mood to write, tantalizing, teasing if i was feeling it. So this is showing me pretty forcefully that there are always little areas that i strive to control even when i don't realize it. Another thing that it has kind of reopened for me is the issue of being seen as an individual person. As i said this person and i had developed what i considered a rapport and i would have said he was fond of ME (the capital letter ME) but since i have been available to interact on a private level he has disabused me of that notion (without specifically trying) by the way he has addressed me. My first reaction was to be a little hurt but, now i like it, yet another reminder that i am here just for entertainment-that i am a body, holes, tits- not anything else that anyone is interested in when it comes right down to it.
i am getting tired but the last thing i wanted to mention was the shifting paradigm of approval seeking. All of this comes back to Mastered and making him proud. The last time there were things that irritated me, made me angry even, were different and therefore wrong as i am sure there will be this time but in every action and reaction i wanted to have the "guest" think well, not of me, but of Mastered and what his training has accomplished and THAT is what made me feel successful: making someone else look good-and this is coming from someone who made their boss cry today-LOL!
Now all of that said-i have high hopes for this "guest", not only has it already served to bring me low a couple of times by reminding me of the source of my value but the more i interact with him the more i am convinced that he will A) be consistant with Mastereds ...ideals-might be the right word and B) have diabolical and degrading and painful addtions to my current training. So...fun for everybody, right?
Last years guest was a person diametrically opposite of Master, a Daddy so to speak. He was actually responsible for the task that resulted in me having golf balls around the house for Mastered to torment me with now. It all went pretty smoothly, i think because he was less severe (but, perhaps, a tad bit more formal), than Mastered so my normal standards of behavior were sufficient. He liked to have me write stories, which was really nice because that was before i had this journal. This was also pre-pig but i think that would not have been his style so i am not actually sure he would have wanted the job now. There was absolutely nothing wrong with him and in fact i think he would be awesome for someone looking specifically for a Daddy but i don't think the level of degradation i have sunk to would be his cup of tea. But even though my behavior-i think- was fine i still had to figure out subtle likes and dislikes and alter what i talked about or what i emphasized and how i did that. That is one of the interesting things about the "guest".
i am sure that every D/s have their own shorthand or standards-you get to know what your Master cares about and what is behaviors or words are superfluous. i am fortunate in that, although Mastered is not a big talker and i am certainly more wordy, we are both pretty direct, non-flowery speakers. Also as i mentioned to someone recently-declarations, begging and certainly whining doesn't really have any effect on him so i don't bother with much of that- he really just wants to hear "Yes Sir" and know that i am doing what he says. (Everything i just wrote was a massive generalization so, of course, there are exceptions to it.) Ironically the way that i some times, feebly, try to register my unhappiness is by ONLY saying "Yes Sir", which probably just makes him happier-lol. But my point is, there is not much room for misunderstanding partially because we communicate similarly.
But that "shorthand" or those habits can be interpreted entirely differently by a new person-the "do this" or "show this" part of interacting with someone new is easy, those are clear directives. But it is adapting to the nuances of their desires and communicating successfully that can be jarring. Which is my way of segueing into discussing this years "guest", who has been a frequent commenter on my media. i have always enjoyed, from his first comment on pictures way back, how he addressed me or rather didn't address ME but merely commented upon the meat he was looking at. i felt that he was very similar to Mastered. But as time passed i feel like i got to know him thru his comments and we had a pretty good back and forth. But..and here is the thing...he was "just" a commenter, as long as i was polite Mastered didn't really care what i said and my commenter didn't have any say in anything that i did so i teased, i was casual. But now he has a say and it is funny how quickly he took to correcting my speech. i found myself kind of taken aback by the fact that my behavior would have to change (i know DUH) and a little surprised by the aggressiveness with which he took to his new role. i don't know why i should be surprised this is what i saw in him initially that made him one of my favs. But it was a good mind check for me because at first i was offended by his presumption-it was a knee jerk reaction-because i realize now that i had felt in control of previous interactions simply, i guess, by virtue of the fact that i could respond how ever i liked-blandly if i wasn't in the mood to write, tantalizing, teasing if i was feeling it. So this is showing me pretty forcefully that there are always little areas that i strive to control even when i don't realize it. Another thing that it has kind of reopened for me is the issue of being seen as an individual person. As i said this person and i had developed what i considered a rapport and i would have said he was fond of ME (the capital letter ME) but since i have been available to interact on a private level he has disabused me of that notion (without specifically trying) by the way he has addressed me. My first reaction was to be a little hurt but, now i like it, yet another reminder that i am here just for entertainment-that i am a body, holes, tits- not anything else that anyone is interested in when it comes right down to it.
i am getting tired but the last thing i wanted to mention was the shifting paradigm of approval seeking. All of this comes back to Mastered and making him proud. The last time there were things that irritated me, made me angry even, were different and therefore wrong as i am sure there will be this time but in every action and reaction i wanted to have the "guest" think well, not of me, but of Mastered and what his training has accomplished and THAT is what made me feel successful: making someone else look good-and this is coming from someone who made their boss cry today-LOL!
Now all of that said-i have high hopes for this "guest", not only has it already served to bring me low a couple of times by reminding me of the source of my value but the more i interact with him the more i am convinced that he will A) be consistant with Mastereds ...ideals-might be the right word and B) have diabolical and degrading and painful addtions to my current training. So...fun for everybody, right?
As always, a very interesting blog. I am sorry to have been so absent, but I see you've been using the time in an intriguing way. I presume this will keep you on your toes or on your knees, as the case may be.
ReplyDeleteAmber
yep, i am excited about it. i noticed you weren't around but i know you will always come back to me, lol
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