Reposted blog "slave Js first time"

i am reposting this old blog from SF in answer to a question on my last journal "1) I wonder how you got to  become what you are ...". This same question was asked of me on SF and i asked Mastered if i could answer it and he said i could but ....get this....was i sure i wanted people to know all of that about me! hahahahahaha guess we all know the answer to that now.  This is pretty much the story of my first experience. There should be a second part that i may have to add about my evolution under Mastered (although what don't you already know about that??) because these 2 relationships are like bookends-my first one was almost perfection and then years of dissatisfaction and now i have Mastered and i think it is clear it is close to perfect for me.  Anyway i hope you enjoy:


i don't have a very exciting story about how i got started. i don't know if you want to hear how i developed my appetites or my first experience so i will generally address both.
When i was 9 or 10 i found my fathers stash of porn, but it wasn't pictures or magazines, they were books (and i was already a voracious reader. to this day my favorite form of porn is written). They were all bdsm stories so the very first things i ever read or viewed about sex was about women being degraded and humiliated. i don't know how much reading serious hard core stuff when i was that young had to do with it or if it is just an innate desire i was born with but either way bdsm fantasies were ALL i have ever had/have.

When i was first having sex i would hint to the guys that i was into this kind of stuff, but my partners and i were so young and stupid that although we knew it was tantalizing nobody really knew what to do about it-that was ages 15-20. Then i met David. We were 21, we had dated for a couple of weeks and were already having sex but one night after only being together for a couple of weeks....and i will never ever forget this night...we were doing it doggie style and he started talking dirty to me like no one had ever really talked before-he asked me if i loved his cock-he would pull out of me- and tell me to beg for it before he would slide into me again. This is all pretty small stuff from our perspective now but for a young woman for the first time getting a taste of what she wanted it was amazing and i definitely showed that i was VERY into it. Then he took it up a notch, the next time he pulled out of me he told me to bark like a dog!!!!! That is a hard thing to do, even now making animal noises is one of my least favorite things to do. But there i was: 21, had never really done anything like that so even though i was incredibly mindlessly turned on i refused. HERE is what this 21 year old inexperienced man did that set the bar high for anyone trying to dominate me later: when i didn't bark like a dog, he moved away from me and got off the bed and started to get dressed without a word. SERIOUSLY??? a 21 year old guy was walking away from MY tight dripping hot cunt? To this day, considering how easy it is to derail "dominant" men just by throwing some pussy in their face, it amazes me he was able to do that. But it worked, i begged him to come back and before he gave me his cock again i barked like a dog and for the rest of the time he was fucking me that night when ever he told me to do it i did. From there we went further, he was the first to whip me with a belt, the first to whip my tits, first nipple clamps, first anal, he loved inserting things into my holes. He would tie me up and just fill my holes with whatever was at hand. Our sex was close to the best i have ever had. Emotionally we handled the situation horribly but that's another story.

The really amazing thing about this, to me, is that neither one of us had ever expressed this side of ourselves outside of our fantasies but the way we came together was so organic and effortless and we went pretty far, not just some spanking and dirty talk, but real D/s stuff. i think i am a true slut by nature but he was the most true and natural Dom i have known. The way he handled me, dominated me was with absolute authority and absolute confidence from the start, that is very impressive to me especially after years of meeting older more experience Doms that were so weak in comparison. We have remained semi-friends over the past 20 years and we talked maybe 2 years ago about how neither one of us have ever been able to duplicate the passion or the naturalness of the sexual relationship we shared. The problem for me is that i was never able to find a Dom or a master who possessed the absolute authority that David had. That night became the bar that i measured so called "dominant" men by, it became sort of a test: if a man claimed to be dominant and told me to do something immediately before or during sex i would subtly refuse, offering another sex act or saying "please just fuck me, i cant wait to feel you inside me blah blah blah" and if he didn't notice what i had done or chose to let it slide and fucked me anyway he failed and my submission to him would be off the table for good. It is shocking and sad how many failed. With one (and a half) exceptions i have not had any other truly successful bdsm interactions until now.