June 22, 2013

Today i had a gynecologist appointment.  i thought i would share it, since Guest Master feels strongly about no privacy for slaves. i have mentioned before that i have medical "thing" but i never really brought it into real life mainly because it is virtually impossible to. But i thought that by sharing my regular exam i might be able to still get a vicarious thrill thru exposing yet another thing about me to anyone that reads this.

 

 

i approached this doctors appointment a little differently even from the way i scheduled it-the receptionist asked me if i had a preference for a male or female doctor.  In a previous life i would not have gone out of my way to get a female doctor but if the choice was presented to me, as it was in this case, i would have asked for a female.  BUT this time i said my preference was for a male, and going forward i will always be making that selection. Normally when you go to these apts you just say to yourself-eh they see tits cunts and assholes all day, they are professional no biggie. But this time i made sure to think that i was being examined by a MAN, not a doctor, but a man, a real PERSON..its a difference that is hard to explain.  i think you normally just think of them as automatons doing a job to make it as impersonal as possible so i was trying to make it as personal as possible.

Also there are things that i think that all "polite" gyno patients do for a visit-of course be clean, bring clean white socks. There are things that i do that i am not sure are universal...i try not to have sex the night before so that my holes don't look sloppy. i do have to say that since i don't normal consider "pleasing" a doctor i don't stress too much about shaving perfectly-just make sure it is tidy down there. I handled these things differently this time as well. i made sure i was perfectly shaved since my cunt and asshole were going to be on display-again in an effort to depersonalize you don't normally really think of it as "on display". i also spent about 2 hours the night before stretching out my asshole. i fucked my giant dildo, then just watched some tv with it still in, then fucked it some more, then watched some tv..you get the idea.  i wanted there to be no question when this professional looked at my holes what i do with my body. i was curious if he would ask about my sexual practices because of it.

So off i go to my apt yesterday morning-before doing so i checked and my asshole was still visibly open. After the obligatory hour wait i went to the room and put on the "gown",( crinkly paper-open down the front) and sat on the exam table to wait for the Dr.  There is very rarely an opportunity to feel as vulnerable and exposed in public as when you are at the drs, sitting on the table-the stirrups right there and visible on either side of you-you know where you are going to be in minutes and you are naked except for the stupid "gown". Then this tall older doctor walks in ( i think i am developing a thing for older guys-funny since i used to skew much younger than me) and talks to me for a little.  Then the exam begins.  He has me lay back with both of my arms above my head and pushes the gown aside and starts to massage my left tit, pushing on it, feeling all over. Now if he is paying attention he will get his first clue about me because when you use tit clamps a lot as i did the week before Mastered left you get these (or at least i do)  dark colored marks on each side of  your nipple that stay on for a week or two so i am laying there with a strange MAN holding my tit, clearly viewing evidence that my body is meant for abuse.  Then he moves to the other tits, likewise marked and i say something as close to inappropriate i as i ever will and tell him that he does the exam so well it almost feels good. This was not something i planned, at the time i just felt like saying it and didn't realize it was inappropriate until it was out of my mouth. i am guessing just a side effect of my lowered boundaries.

Then it was time for the pelvic exam. i scooted down and put my feet in the stirrups so that my holes were accessible. My exam  starts with the doctor still standing beside me and pushing on my stomach, feeling for lymph nodes (or something) etc then he moved down to put his fingers  inside of my cunt hole while pushing on my stomach. I felt his fingers go inside me-a tight fit- and wiggle around. Its a very slave feeling to have a mans fingers inside your holes and he doesn't even look down at you.  After feeling around my cunt hole he slips his finger in my asshole, now this has to be his second indication that something was up with my body because i could tell it was easier for him to put his finger in my asshole than when he slid it in my cunt. He wiggles them in my asshole for a minute and then pulls out, still without looking at me or talking to me.

Then we move onto the internal exam.  But before we do he walks away to get his instruments or something. This is always an uncomfortable time because i am just laying there legs up and spread but just left there and ignored-again a very slave feeling. But at long last he rolls his stool over and places himself in between my legs. This is another hard time during the exam because a man is truly looking directly at your most intimate areas, then they always pull the light over to get an even better look and you can feel the heat from the light right on your cunt.  At this point you have no secrets, there is no where to hide or pretend that anything other than exactly what is happening is happening. When he initially rolls up i found my self clenching in an effort to keep my asshole closed, at the moment of truth i found myself embarrassed that i have a stretched open asshole but i made myself relax so that my body would be natural-i decided to be a pig for Mastered so that is what i look like now-so be it.  i know just from the picture si have taken in different poses that in this position my asshole is probably open about 3/4 of an inch-not a normal look.  I feel his fingers pull my cunt lips apart, opening me even more, i feel a finger or two inside of my cunthole again. His fingers now pulling my actual hole open for visual inspection. Then i hear, and all you ladies know it, "your going to feel some pressure". This means it is time for the speculum.  i could feel the foreign object slide inside of me and open. This means that my hole is WIDE open now. Speculums lock open so that the Drs can use both hands for something else. i am laying there with an object protruding from me holding my hole open while the Dr grabs a swab to put deep in that hole. That is what all of this is about for those that don't know-to open you up so the doctor can visually inspect you inside but also so they can take a swab from deep in your cervix ( this is always painful for me).

Then the exam is over, he pulls out the speculum, sometimes if they have used a lot of lube you feel it dripping down your cunt to your asshole.  There are always a couple of minutes again where you are still laying in the stirrups - open, sore and dripping while he talks to you..YES actually has a small convo with you while he is standing like a normal person and you are still laying there in the most undignified, exposed way possible.

There are aspects of even a normal gynecological apt that are dehumanizing and degrading.  But i wish so hard that i could find a doctor that was into the whole BDSM thing-to have a real doctor in a real doctors office really treat me like a pig and not have to be polite and adhere to all of these rules about nurses and all that junk there to protect my dignity and make sure that nothing untoward happens. That is probably one of my deepest darkest fantasies.

But here is the sad part-the whole reason i started thinking i would journal about this is because i was going to try to take a picture while i was in the stirrups-again honoring GMs idea that nothing is private for a slave. i even brought my good camera with me (along with my white socks). After the doctor was done (i had additional procedures that were painful and left me a little shock-y) he told me to take as much time as i need before coming back to his office so i was like "whoo hoo i can def get my pics now".  BUT just (and i swear this is true) as i was bending over to get my camera out of my purse the nurse WALKED RIGHT BACK  IN WITHOUT KNOCKING to check on me-had it been minutes later she would have found me legs up taking a pic!!!!!! After that i lost my nerve for taking pics. But i hope you enjoy my description even lacking pictures-i know there are some that are into this stuff like i am so this is for you guys!