It is an odd thing to be a humiliation slut, i think it is more complicated to understand even for those of us that are, than being a pain slut. To me that is pretty straight forward, pain causes an adrenaline rush or an endorphin rush..some type of chemical rush and if you can get thru the pain you get to that rush and soon you look forward to the pain because you know the payoff it brings. That might be an oversimplification but i think the basics are there, yes there is the mental aspect of submitting but to me (and i only speak for me) it is not entirely, but primarily, a physical thing. But why crave the humiliation-what the fuck is that about????? What does it get me to be nothing in front of Master? i don't know-ive talked before about how different i am in "real life" and how maybe just the different treatment is a relief- but i just dont know- the level to which i am willing to debase myself for him is crazy. AND here is the thing: i WANT him to do it! i think in the deep dark corners of my mind things i want him to make me do or rules i want and days later there he is reading my mind. And i cant even lie about it when he tells me what he wants-he knows i am happy, he knows i LIKE it for gods sake, that i feel right. Why does it make me happy to be treated worse than i would treat a dog. Why do those words go thru me like electricity? You cant blame that on anything physical-this is entirely mental so it is something that is part of ME not just some natural physical reaction, that makes it worse/better somehow and it is, of course, why denying i like it is stupid.
Today i got a rule that almost made me cry..but it is a rule i thought about, a rule that takes me to my special place...and then here it is today a reality. (i don't mean to be mysterious or a jerk about it but somethings-even for me are private) And i wasn't even satisfied with just getting the rule - i asked Mastered to leave me a voice mail with the rule and some other things so i could replay it as i laid in bed and thought about what i am now. To tell the absolute truth, i listened to the VM while i sat in my car after work. i was the last one to leave today, fortunately, because as i listened to the message my skirt was around my waist, my legs were spread and i couldn't help but touch myself while i heard Master tell me about myself over and over-just a wonton slut- cunt out in broad daylight AND IT FELT SO RIGHT. Why cant i be like that for real? (Does anybody else get those totally crazy flashes...like you are in a meeting or something and you have this flash of what it would feel like to just bend over the table and take every cock in the room..its just a flash but you almost feel like your are this close to doing something inappropriate?) So that is the image i will leave you with tonight, in my car, daylight, legs open, dress pulled up playing with my wet cunt while i listen to Master tell me what i am and how i will behave.
today you are very sexy, is not a mystery that I find most sexy boots if you ...
ReplyDeleteYesterday I sent the photos to your master, I did not reply: (I hope to have news today.
I hope that more acora want to shorten your "collar" and requires that you politely to use rubber gloves when you touch yourself as you would a maid when cleaning toilets
see you soon
allcools
slave J you are not fully explaining lately your attire for the day?? Diapers today, plugged or your cute piggy tail?
ReplyDeleteDisappointing but still enjoy following along on your adventure.
PD
now that you mention it you are right-however every wed is diaper day, that doesn't really change and i am always to wear my large plug so i stopped mentioning that but i will try to be more specific in the future-plus i thought it might be boring people so i am glad to know there is interest. we do now have new items in rotation for my full out fit-the rope panties and tack bra but i think since these are more intense maybe Mastered doesn't make me wear them as much-but i will try to take more photos when he does and make sure to mention it-thank you for your feed back!!
Delete1. I really like to read about why you like to be degraded and humiliated. I stand read to assist in any way that I can. I might even be able to come up with a few new ideas for how to continue and extend your degradation training. And I like that it makes you crave it....and I imagine arouses you to have it done to you. Oh, what a outstanding slave you are becoming!!
ReplyDelete2. I think I know what that rule is, since I'm doing some of these comments in reverse order. I'm thinking you now will have to learn to piss while clothed, without wearing a diaper. you are having to learn that your body will have no secrets, will be totally controlled by your Master, and that you will not be allowed to have any dignity other than being a great slave. The rules of behavior and of proper place or time no longer apply to you, but you much do whatever your Owner says no matter when or where you are. That is proper for a slave.
it is so hard to articulate because there are so many just down right opposing thoughts happening at the same time. but one thing is true i do love it with every fiber of my pig body and brain!
Deletethe rule that i was talking about was my toilet privileges being taken away and replaced with my slop bucket. as per usual-when it first happened i was mortified but now i proudly post pics documenting how i am allowed to use the bathroom now. and i don't care who knows!! :)