Well there is a little bit of catching up to do from yesterday but, of course, first up is todays outfit and i have to thank Mastered for giving me a break today since i did not go to sleep until about 3 last night and letting me wear leggings.
Yesterday was, you may remember, diaper day. As you can see from todays label the theme has been carried over to today. So i am just going to have to admit (as if you haven't figured it out yet ) that i LOVE anything to do with pissing - sends me straight to my slave zone. Early in the day yesterday Master said that he would text me throughout the day when to piss in my diaper, that if i really needed to go i could text for permission. Oh how i loved that! Randomly thru the day i would get a text yelling at me to piss right then or to walk around and piss while i did. One time he sent me to the bathroom, allowed me to use the toilet but i had to piss into my hands and lick them clean. i spent alot of time on my knees licking the toilet too. In the midst of all of this piss control and toilet work yesterday i confessed to Master that i would love for him to piss all over me, on my face in my hair then turn me around, bend me over and fuck me while while his piss is still dripping off me. He said that is how piss pig like me should be fucked, HEAVEN. (i think that became my new nickname yesterday-its been in heavy rotation since then)
Having him tell me how and when i went to the bathroom yesterday brought home how much i like the most minuscule and/or intimate aspects of my life being utterly dictated by Mastered. i like that i worried all day about what would happen if i needed to pee and he didn't answer my text-i like this concept: that something so incredibly important to me is merely a minor concern to him. He could totally forget me for hours while i am consumed with trying to obey, i think only of him while he barely considers me. A somewhat (at least in my train of thought) related topic i sometimes entertain thoughts of is having to getting permission to eat, get orders to go work out, adhering to a strict schedule of Masters design. i think that kind of micro management would be VERY hard to take in person but i think a long distance thing does kind of lend itself to that. It would keep me constantly aware that someone else is calling all shots for me with out really having someone right in my face and "on me" all the time and it would allow Master (as long as he trusted me to adhere to what he says) to always know where i am and what i am doing. Now, i am saying this never having really lived like that so i don't know how it would really effect me AND Mastered has displayed no interest in this i am just thinking out loud here (just to be clear). i think how what i just said was related to Master controling when i pee is that the smaller and more unconsious the things you turn over conrtol of are the more minimized you are as a person-like turning over control of a big decision like "should i sell my house" could be seen as reasonable in some ways because perhaps the person you are giving power to is actually, technically more compent in the area of real estate than you are. BUT when you turn over the small decisions you are essentially saying i acknowledge that this man is more capable of making decisions that allow me to live the way i truely want to live than i am. And honestly after typing that, it rings true for me...i want to be nothing..a thing..degraded and dehumanized but i could not make choices on my own that would allow that to happen. Did that make sense????
Today i had a couple of interesting tasks-i was sent to the bathroom to lick the toilet and remove and reinserted my plug 50 times. i decided i would do that while i was licking the toilet to give myself some positive reinforcement. i like the idea of Master fucking my while i lick his toilet clean (WHAT THE FREAK IS WRONG WITH ME????). Later in the day, just for his own pleasure i did hourly icy hot on cunt and asshole for 3 hours. Even at the second application today i was whining a little, took some real disciple to make me rub it on my asshole time 2 and 3!! But no sympathy from Master and i would be disappointed with any other reaction! And lastly i on my ride home i was to use my plug on my cunt and fuck myself at every red light- well fortunately for me i was stuck in traffic all the way home so i had a field day, i was sitting in a puddle by the time i got home. That reminds me, now when i ride in the car i am to pull up my skirt so anyone looking in the car can see my cunt. i am not too worried about this, except for some random truck drivers not much chance of anyone seeing anything and i actually like that when i drive like that and then get out of the car my cunt is open and out there and i am excited about the first time i get seen by someone getting out of the car-between my trips out into the yard and this i hope my natural modesty starts to evaporate.
So that brings everything pretty much up to date. i want to add that i really don't want to lose the great momentum that this blog is gaining so although between now and the 26th my entries may be spotty due to getting ready for the holiday and for seeing Master i will probably post a blog or 2 over the weekend-so please stick with me if i skip a day unannounced i will make up for it!!!
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