Master and i had a convo yesterday that i want to talk about and there were a couple of things he had me do that i want to talk about as well, but even as open as i am i am uncomfortable talking about some of this. But slaves do not have the luxury of privacy or dignity, right? If there are things Master wants me to do then i do them regardless of how i may feel, that these behaviors make him happy is all that matters....right?
Of course yesterday was diaper day and as with the past couple of weeks i wait until Master tells me to piss and then no matter where i am i do it. Well yesterday he told me that when i need to go i had to oink to ask permission. (that was one of those sentences it was hard to write, haven't had one of those for awhile). Privately i didn't mind. i rather enjoyed that my part of our conversation yesterday was largely limited to oinking, just further erasing my identity BUT i don't like admitting that i liked it-i would like to keep it my dirty little secret. But if i did that i would not be being true to what i am so there it is: Masters pig oinked for permission to piss. Oh wait though, it gets worse..
Master told me that later that night i was to piss outside in my back yard like a dog. Now i knew this was coming down the pike so it wasn't that shocking and i had no problem whatsoever with it, this is the level i want to be taken to. However i happened to say that i hoped it wouldn't be muddy outside and Master said "if it is roll around in it like the pig you are", i was pretty sure he was joking so i said "There's nothing sexy about that" just kind of teasing. Well that's when things started to go badly. ( when the hell will i learn). i insisted that he must be joking but he said i had a lot to learn and essentially that what is hot is not my concern, my only concern is doing what he says. So there i sat trying to visualize rolling in the mud for Master. And it started to sink in, the thought worked its way past my normal brain and got down to my slave brain and it started to turn me on, thinking of Master standing over me and commanding his piglsut to roll around in the mud. THAT IS SUPER HARD TO ADMIT, that is really why i am uncomfortable writing about this, not because of the activities i am writing about but admitting that my slave brain got off on it after a second. Master says that's how it always is with me, "you always balk in the beginning and then embrace it. The initial shock and then you get it". So i guess tonights post is really more of a confession of mine-yes yes yes this is how i want a man to treat me okay? got somethin' to say about it? lol. Like Master is fond of making me repeat: he teaches me humiliation degradation and punishment and i crave it!! i already know the exact muddy area in the woods behind my house i will be wallowing in when it gets warmer...good god where will i draw the line, is it even possible for me to even do that anymore?
Normally i proof read and do some editing but i am hitting the button to post before i decide to take some of this out.
Your Master is right! They al the same. In the beginning there is always something and later on they can't stay away from it! ;)
ReplyDeleteNinjo
That is true Sir, i get a new addiction every day thru my training.
DeleteIt is outstanding that you have already learned and accepted that, as a slave, you have no right to any privacy nor to dignity. you are to serve, fuck, display, and entertain regardless of how humiliating or degrading to may be for you. Not being allowed use of a toilet to piss into is good training for this. I also find it interesting that you are told to piss on command. I do especially enjoy reading (and looking at) your tits and message for the day written on them.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment Sir, i do think the commands work well, not only do i have the indignity of being diapered but then i have to wait until Masters orders me and i have to do it where ever i am so it controls me on multiple levels.
DeleteI look forward to finding out what Master thinks of me every morning and being able to share with others my status for the day.