Of course the big event of my holiday season was seeing Master but im sure if your here you read all about that over on SF. Sometimes i get an actual physical jolt when it think about it, or something will cause a sudden flash of specific memory and it is like electricity hitting me. i love that but it also makes it harder to have to wait for more real time. BUT enough of that..
You might remember before i took my little holiday break Master had decided that Wednesdays are diaper days so i got right back to it today. i have a love/hate relationship with those things. i love what it makes me feel and ..well i hate what it makes me feel. They are uncomfortable and ridiculous looking but when i am sitting at my desk and i get the text from Master: "Piss slut", and i do it i love the feeling of absolute domination. When Master texts me and tells me to sit in my piss and remember feeling his cock i love the feeling of degradation. When i have to go lick and kiss the toilet but i am not allowed to use it i love the feeling of humiliation. I am not sure if i mentioned it before but when i drive home from work i am to pull up my skirt so that my bare ass is on the seat and my cunt shows but on Wednesdays its my diaper that shows as i drive-this particular rule is going to get much more interesting in the spring!
As inconvenient as having to get approval on my outfits, waiting for Master to tell me when to piss, not being allowed to cum, all of these rules that control really significant parts of my life are, i do love them and feel the most happy when i am working within their structure. i almost find it easy to adhere and really truly submit to these big rules but i was thinking today (because i am always curious about the whole 24/7 thing) that although i am okay with things like willingly turn over control of when where and how i use the bathroom i would totally balk at someone, say, telling me when to eat or have my coffee or when i can relax and read. There are things that are so hard to reconcile in my head about a TPE. BTW this is not a conversation Master and i are having or even anything specifically about us but just my own thoughts on what course my life may take waaaaaaay in the future. ive bugged a slave over on SF that i am friends with but i hate to be nosy or indelicate. The big rules i get, for instance, she does an enema a day and always is diapered -i think she once said she is only allowed to clean the toilet not use it...ok so that is a BIG rule and i can get my head around that...but to not just be able to get in bed and take a nap if i feel like it? can not get my head around that. I am really just kind of rambling (out of practice with the blogging, lol) but bottom line is as i sat in my wet diaper today it did occur to me how odd it was that i am fat and happy with that state of affairs BUT small things like the fact that i can only wear 2 colors of nail polish can really, i'm just going to say it, piss me off.
Complete topic change ahead:
Another thing i was thinking about today as i got a barrage of text and messages calling me a pig was how normally after spending the night with someone i might expect a couple of texts talking about how much fun it was or when will we go out again or any variety sweet messages (which i like, if for no other reason than it is always good to know i fucked someone well) but after my night with Master i just got texts ordering me to oink, calling me a slut. No: "that was great baby". no: "you are amazing" (lol) none of that. It took a little while to adjust and part of me did really believe that eventually i would get something like that but i never did....because he is Mastered and i really should have known better. i would have been disappointed, frankly, if he had. His complete and utter control over every situation with me makes me smile.
Well just a quick random blog tonight to get me back in the swing of things....
Welcome back j, glad you are :)
ReplyDeletegeez the holidays were boring without your blogs lol
thank you, your comments make me smile. Glad you are enjoying the blogs and def glad to be back! i would love to hear more about you and what you are doing...Happy New Year Kim!!
DeleteSo would you accept diapers like your friend does?
ReplyDeletei will answer this but with some explaination: my friend does not work outside of the house and i dont think goes out very much, i do work and am active in terms of working out and going out so i am not sure it would be practical - particularly because Master likes me to look nice and diapers dictate what kind of clothes you can wear, that said..yes if Mastered ordered it i would do what he said.
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